wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
