nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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