cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
