just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
