This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
PANTIES FOUND
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