I just made out with a guy for $7.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize