I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just google imaged poop.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
