a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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