we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
