facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
