How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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