I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
