I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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