are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
