Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
