There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize