I looked at my own cervix.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize