This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
