She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize