I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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