And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
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Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
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There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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