If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is it because I queefed?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
