Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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