how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
