oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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