Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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