why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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