were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
