It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
