i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
