it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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