wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My feet surprised me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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