Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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