Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
