Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
