I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So many bounce houses so little time
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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