just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
