how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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