Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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