do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
