last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
