I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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