Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
3pm strippers are depressing
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
