we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
