my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize