and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
