Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
