He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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