so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
