i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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