I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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