I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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