im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
