it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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