I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
