I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
