We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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