I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
