she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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