I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
