i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
