Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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