Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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