That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
