shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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